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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447247">she found herself making a white flame</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruckauthors/pseuds/starstruckauthors'>starstruckauthors</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula had ptsd just saying, Eventual Zukka but at the beginning Mai/Zuko, Gen, Katara and Toph will make an appearance just not sure when, M/M, Protective Azula (Avatar), References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, zuko isn't a bad dad I promise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:00:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruckauthors/pseuds/starstruckauthors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Aren’t you my aunt anyway? You’re supposed to help me, we’re family!” Azula found herself laughing a dark, bitter laugh. “That is how it's supposed to be, isn’t it?"<br/>Disgraced and long since stable, Azula finds herself shown kindness by a most unexpected person, her niece. Together, they help each other grow, and in the process help Zuko out of the mess he's gotten himself into.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. not really so alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first time writing an Azula fic so it might be a bit out of character sorry!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a single stray hair in her face as she practiced her form. She straightened, pulling it back and getting back into position one, raising her elbow back at a perfect angle to lean her leg forward-and-and there were two strands blocking her peripheral. She sighed, pushing them back to the side. She let out a frustrated breath of red, red, not blue, still not blue out. Her fire hadn’t been blue since she lost to Zuzu. But it didn’t matter. The agni kai was years ago, and after her first year of isolated imprisonment, she had broken down, listened to Mother’s voice. Stopped even bending. Heard enough from the guards to know of the world. Zuzu was Fire Lord, and a kind one at that. Heard all about the destruction caused, and slowly, slowly realized all her fiery anger deserved to be at herself, not her brother. Father-Ozai was gone, taken, and she was the crazy fire princess, who for some reason Zuzu brought back after a year alone to stay at the castle dungeons so he could visit her every monthly. She didn’t know why, but it had been a few years, and still she was-</p>
<p>“Hello?” A voice startled her. She looked up to see a young girl in royal attire, similar to her former uniform before they stripped her of it. It must have been longer than she remembered, for this girl looked just like Mai. Azula pursed her lips, sighing. On his monthly visits, he hardly mentioned his daughter, only five or so, that Azula didn’t even know her name. What she did know was that she was Mai’s daughter, evident in her features. She would think the girl would be like Mai too, a quiet and unemotional girl. The little girl looked sad, though. Her lip bitten and fists clenched, a technique not dissimilar to Azula’s own experiences. An attempt to stop herself from crying, before she learned better. “What is it?” She snapped, straightening. Her voice came out too loud and hoarse, not used often enough to sound normal.</p>
<p>The girl sputtered, unsure of herself. “Well, I, Mom and Dad were fighting and I got scared because it got so loud and I was supposed to be training, and when I asked Great Uncle Iroh he said the best firebender besides my Dad was here down the hall with the burnt tapestry so-”</p>
<p>Azula sighed. Somehow she was still second best behind Zuzu. She supposed that perhaps the rumors of his encounter with Dragons was still just a rumor. Knowing her brother, she would’ve thought he’d teach those Dragon skills to everyone, but he was always so awkward, perhaps he never got over that. Oh well, she wasn’t going to waste time pondering the Dragon issue, it wasn’t like she’d ever get to learn that. She went back over the first statement. If Iroh sent her here then, well, she supposed she somehow still had his trust. She didn’t quite believe that either, despite the situation here. Maybe she was sent here as a fun test, to see if the dreaded and disgraced princess was finally able to be human again. If so, she’d take it. She was once a firebending prodigy, after all. “I can teach you firebending better than your father can.”</p>
<p>The girl looked at her in confusion. “I don’t really want to learn anyway, but Dad says I should train. Right now I’m studying forms.” Azula glared at her.  “Agni help me, why would you not want to learn it? Fire is the strongest element, it can take everything in its path. Besides, don’t you want to please your father, to win his favor?” She noticed then how her eyes were dark like Mai’s, but as soft and wondering as Zuzu, before he got burnt. All curious and unknowing, like a turtleduck.</p>
<p> “Fire is scary. It burns everything. Dad says fire is good, warmth and healing, but everyone in the city is scared of fire. I don’t want to be scared of it, but I don’t want to hurt anyone!” She clenched her fists again. “Besides, Dad loves me no matter what!” She gave her first smile, and something in Azula shifted. The girl was nothing like her, and Zuzu was being so kind as always, yet for some reason she still saw herself in the girl. A smaller part of her mind that sounded suspiciously like Ty Lee piped in that perhaps she wanted to see herself in the girl, that maybe she was jealous, but Azula quickly blanketed those ideas. That was preposterous, there was no way she was going to be jealous of Zuzu’s daughter. As Azula continued her internal debate, the little girl spoke again, wary. “Aren’t you my aunt ‘Zula anyway? You’re supposed to help me, we’re family!” Azula found herself laughing a dark, bitter laugh. “That is how it's supposed to be, isn’t it? Very well. I’ll help you learn.” </p>
<p>The girl’s smile brightened considerably. “Thank you so much Auntie ‘Zula! For today I don’t have my history book with me, but I have been working on these breathing practices Iroh said are really really important.” She shrugged. “Breathing doesn’t seem very important to fire, it's just what you do all the time.”</p>
<p>Azula walked closer to the bars of the cell, reminded of the days when she still was learning. It was a long, long time ago. “Now now, Iroh may not be someone I, hmm, well, don’t greatly value, but he is certainly correct. Fire comes from the breath, and for any firebender, it should come as easy as breathing. Breathe in,” She opened her palms as she exhaled, and a small, orange flame appeared. “Breathe out, and with it the flame,” she nodded to the girl, gesturing for her to repeat. The girl gave her a skeptical look, but repeated, breathing slowly as Azula did, and breathing out with her palms face up, creating a small flame that illuminated her dark hair, the same shade as her Aunt’s. She grinned, and although flickering, was able to keep the flame alive as she turned back. “I did it! That’s so cool! Thank you Auntie!”</p>
<p>Azula found herself softening with this. After years of imprisonment, she had been left alone for the first year, but once back at the castle Zuzu came every month to talk. Nothing ever personal, and sometimes just to have her test his new tea because he knew she would be honest. After the first year, she got used to it, and Zuzu said she got kind in a way he hadn’t seen before. But she still couldn’t talk about herself without crying or breaking down, or burning herself. She certainly couldn’t handle the outside world. It was far too much going on, and everyone hated her. Why wouldn’t they? </p>
<p>Twice a year Aang, the Avatar she had heard so much about, came to talk to her. It was surprisingly easy after she dismissed the feeling of wrongness of talking to the very person that fueled Ozai’s anger and paranoia. But she found talking to Aang relaxing in a strange way. He knew so much, and quelled her curiosities of the world as well as he could. Iroh came sometimes, though not on a schedule. Ty Lee came on her birthday each year, the only reason she knew her birthday anymore. Mai never came down. But now her daughter had, and was preparing to come down often it seemed. She was grateful for the company, though she wouldn’t admit that, and found teaching her distracted Azula from all the hate she had left, all the brokenness and angry thoughts. </p>
<p>“I’m glad to teach you, niece.” Azula said, and meant it. She didn’t lie anymore, not after her year of isolation, when she couldn’t even lie to herself. “I’m sure your parents are looking for you, but I’ll be glad to teach you whenever you’d like.” She smiled a true smile, honest, and her niece smiled back before walking away. Azula decided then that perhaps the Spirits had taken a kindness on her, so strange and unusual to offer to someone with so much destruction, but she was grateful. Perhaps, she thought, one day the world could trust her as easily as her niece did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. something new and quite different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Azula starts her teaching lessons :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>update: ahhh so I will be back with more chapters soon (I have the story plotted at till an end) but it might be a little while sorry!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door creaks open, the old metal rusting at the hinges. Azula looks up, it’s too early for anyone but Zuzu to be up, though she found herself hoping it was his daughter again. She, Izumi, as Azula learned, came back the next day. She didn’t stay for long, just enough to bring Azula her food instead of the normal guard, and she brought her a vase of Firelilies, saying she should have “A fresh color” in her cell. Azula had smiled at that and thanked her. Not that Izumi knew, but they were her favorite. </p>
<p>“Good Morning, Fire Lord.” It was her favorite way to address him, she knew how annoyed he got at having an official title to be addressed as. </p>
<p>“Azula.” In the past few years he had grown into the role, and his hair looked similar to Ozai’s. But she wouldn’t tell him that. No one besides her ever wanted to be like him, and now she despised every similarity she found. </p>
<p>“I heard from my daughter that she came to visit her ‘Auntie’ last week. Is it true?” His tone sounded commanding, but she could tell that he was more nervous than sure as himself. As always. She turned to face him, tying her hair into a loose topknot. She hadn’t been able to cut it in so long, and it had gotten longer than Ursa’s had been. She was almost sure of that, but her memories of her were distant and foggy, tampered with what used to be anger.</p>
<p>“It is. I met your daughter, Izumi. She’s just like you.” Azula faltered as his shoulders rose, not realizing her tone was too neutral to sound positive. “I only mean in kindness, Zuzu. She’s far kinder than most, and I,” she hesitated, still scared of admitting anything with so much vulnerability. To admit feelings was a weakness, always bad, but that not true. Not anymore. “I really enjoyed teaching her. She got lessons from a former prodigy, a high honor indeed.”</p>
<p>He stayed silent, and she winced. This was too much. “That was a joke, Zuzu. I hope you’ve learned at least a few while you traveled.” He laughed then, more annoyed than anything. “We both know the fire nation isn’t known for its humor. Besides, I came here to talk about Izumi. I think she could learn something from you, and it’d be good for you to see some of these in person again, ‘Zula.” He held one of the red and white petals of a firelily, smiling fondly. </p>
<p>Azula felt a moment of sheer panic course through her, thoughts flooding by. What if the staff saw her and were disgusted? What if a fire nation citizen attacked her? What if everyone was so appalled by her that they couldn’t even look at her? What if Mai kept her away once she learned that her traitor, monster old friend was corrupting her innocent daughter? It was too much to think about, and she began to feel frozen, unattached to her body. Zuzu was still speaking, and she took a slow breath, trying to concentrate on his words. “Will you be okay teaching her in a private training room? I’ll keep guards at the door of course, and keep it private. I won’t tell anyone.”</p>
<p>At that, she felt her fear turn to him. “Are you too scared of letting anyone know that your precious daughter wants to learn from a war prisoner?”</p>
<p>He blanched, hands raised. “Of course not Azula! I would never, I’m not ashamed of you.” Zuko gave her a concerned smile. “I just want to keep it quiet, for you. No one else knows what’s happened to you since the invasion, and no one else has seen you grow except me. Besides, all rooms Izumi is in are guarded. She’s the crown princess after all, you know how much the Fire Nation loves their princess.”</p>
<p>The joke fell short on her, as Azula was still calming down her mind. But she knew what he was trying, although not well, to say. “I see why. She’s worth protecting.”</p>
<p>Zuko nodded. “Yes. Now I’ll start the preparations, and I’ll have someone come down tomorrow to give you the proper supplies. I assume you’ve been practicing regularly on your own?” She smirked. “Always.”</p>
<p>Just as he said, two attendants came the next morning as the sun was rising, light still filtering in above her bed across the stone floor. She had been practicing since she woke up, and was, admittingly, a bit jittery. They gave her the normal meal, which she knew was only normal for her, not any other prisoner. In addition, she was given a plain, but still Fire Nation royalty top knot holder, and a fire nation uniform, similar to her old but without the regalia. She stared at them now as she finished eating while they stood there. “Do I not deserve the respect to change with privacy?” She raised her eyebrows at them, and was delighted to see how fast they balked and turned around. She changed and took another deep breath as they unlocked her cell and the entrance door. She looked at the twin flames in her hands before closing them and walking out, back into the official palace. </p>
<p>There were so many people. All busy and hurried, but not scared, and not quiet. It had been years since she had been in here, and all the noises hit her at once as she looked around. Servants talking, cooks arguing, crates bustling, guards practicing outside, flames igniting. It was too Much, too Loud, but she took still another deep breath. She could do this. She would do this, for her niece. For her niece’s delighted smile when she saw her soon. She could do this. She followed the attendants, focusing her attention on everything that hadn’t changed. The walls were the same high and gilded, with charred edges in some places if you looked closely. Unnecessary columns every five feet, gold lining them. Red and black carpets over the stone floors, and if you looked, dust, lots of dust under the carpets. They didn’t clean under because they never got removed, even though there wasn’t an actual purpose other than being the official look of the Fire Nation royalty. One day, as an eager nine-year-old, she had accidentally burnt a hole in one of the carpet edges, and she still remembered being utterly baffled when the carpet came off and there was dust, Dust! Under. As they stopped for a cook with bustling trays, she carefully nudged the edge of the carpet under her foot, and found herself oddly comforted by the thin outline of dust where the carpet normally was. She straightened as they continued on to the edge of another hallway, where they finally opened the doors to the practice room. </p>
<p>There, smiling and sitting calmly in the middle of the room, sat Izumi, who immediately stood up and ran towards Azula when she saw her. “ ‘Zula! You made it!” She said eagerly before giving her a wide hug. She was only seven, and her forehead only reached Azula’s belt. Azula stiffened. She hadn't had a hug in years that she accepted, and her automatic reaction was to push the person initiating away, shove them away, anything. But she fought that, and relaxed her shoulders, then her arms, then carefully, cautiously, returned the hug, squeezing her niece back. </p>
<p>This became Izumi’s routine, no matter who came into the room first. She always hugged Azula, and slowly, slowly, Azula hugged back. For her first official lesson, they went over everything she had learned so far. She had accidentally summoned her first flames a couple of months ago, setting a tablecloth on fire during a particularly boring ceremony. Since then Zuko and Iroh had been teaching her, but, as Azula learned, “Dad has been busy recently. Talking with his council a lot, and Mom too.” Instead, Zuzu had given his job to Azula, of course, to do his job for him. Not that he’d say it, and not that she’d accuse him of doing so. She liked her niece, and had no problem teaching her. Especially because she was a very attentive listener. At least for the first hour or so. After that she got bored.</p>
<p>“ ‘Zula, can we go over history now? History is my favorite, and Zuko said I could go over what I’ve learned so far!” </p>
<p>She nodded, settling down in a chair. “Of course Izumi. But you should know, when I learned history my book was a bit different from yours.”</p>
<p>Izumi clapped her hands together, nodding energetically. “I know! Dad said I could teach you the recent history first, then you could tell the older history because that’s what you know and I know the newer stuff!”</p>
<p>“Your father said that, did he? Well, I suppose I can be your student today. Where do we begin?”</p>
<p>Izumi flipped open a scroll, and although all Azula could read from her angle was some hastily written curvsive, this seemed to be perfectly legible to Izumi, (Apparently this was Zuzu’s handwriting, which made sense why it was so atrocious), and she began. “Well, it all started with Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin-”  </p>
<p>After Izumi finished her lesson, Azula found herself wishing she could travel back to before Ozai was defeated just so she could fight him herself. At least she knew her own history correctly now. Before they dismissed for lunch, Izumi tapped Azula’s shoulder, as she had gotten distracted thinking about just how she’d take him down. </p>
<p>“Auntie ‘Zula, why do you stay down there? Dad says you aren’t a prisoner anymore.”</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure how to explain it to her little, innocent niece without scaring her. “Well, when your father became Fire Lord, he wanted me to think about what I did. And then, he talked with me about it, and pardoned me from any more time, hm, alone. But I thought I needed more time, so I stayed down there.”</p>
<p>Izumi pouted. “But you didn’t do anything! You’re nice! Why not stay up here?” She gestured to the palace around them as they walked to a different private room for lunch. Azula shook her head. “Most people would never call me ‘nice’, or anything similar. But I’m glad you think so highly of me, dear niece.”</p>
<p>Izumi smiled back as they sat down. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” At that, Azula found herself smiling so wide she didn’t even notice she had been until they brought it in food, which Izumi immediately went for, despite it being steaming. She realized her mistake a second later, setting it down and frowning. “No one told me something can be too hot for firebenders!”</p>
<p>Azula laughed. “You have much more to learn.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if anyone knows the proper term for the top knot holder please tell I feel like that sounds terribly unofficial :/</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so the timeline for this is uh just don't question it sorry</p></blockquote></div></div>
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